It’s long been said that the pen is mightier than the sword, but that adage apparently hasn’t trickled down to Florida’s anarchist community—a group made up pretty much entirely of members of Against Me and the odd disgruntled Disney World employee. Tom Gabel, who, as far as we know, only fits into one of those categories, took exception to the concept of freedom of expression while sipping a latte at a Tallahassee coffee shop earlier this week. The singer saw a press clipping about his band defaced with four-letter words and derogatory comments and responded in a manner more suited to Fight Club than debate club -- smacking a beverage out of the hands of his critic, then smashing the guy’s head into a table. For now, he only faces charges of battery, but accusations of hitting like an adolescent girl are sure to follow. —David Sprague