A Band That Plays Together Stays Together II: Real Life Nightmares

This column is dedicated to those artists, musicians, self-created individuals who are in search of ways to promote, express, convey and carry their self-made works to various listening audiences. All of which may include radio, record and publishing companies as well as live venues, but reach beyond the cinder blocks of a musty-filled single-car garage, grandma's lasagna-painted kitchen, steamy, reverberating showers or tiny bedroom jam sessions.

Q:  How many bands have you been in?
A:  ?

Q:  How many bands have you been fired from?
A:  ?

Q:  How many tantrums have you thrown on stage?
A:  ?

Q:  How many fellow band members have you punched?
A:  ?

Q:  Do you do drugs?
A:  ?

In my last column I posed the afore mentioned questions, and asked you to send in your "nightmare" gig stories along with any advice you could lend on the art of band synergy. Countless bands break up, leaving their members confused as to what really happened. Given the fact that we all perceive situations differently, this at times blurs the edges even more. I still believe that constructing the right mixture of people is a key ingredient to success. The more one can find out about a person's background, habits and personality the better chance they will have for arranging a group of musicians that will happily stay together.

There are, however, some unique and special groups that never gave their collaboration a second thought. In particular, Big Head Toad And The Monsters. This is a group that has been playing together in one form or another since their teenaged years. Brian Nevin, drummer for the Boulder-based rock band, didn't really have any nightmare stories about band's personnel, but rather had tales of a different nature. Besides BHTM, the band had two other incarnations: TJ and The Twist and The Fabulous Atlantics. These were high school and college bands they formed before BHTM.

The first year in college, the band was hired as TJ and the Twist to play a club an hour north of Denver. At the time they were playing covers, mostly blues in nature: Wilson Pickett, James Brown, etc. They were contracted to perform weekends on a monthly basis. When they arrived for their first-ever paid gig, they were shocked to find out that not only was it a biker bar, but it also contained a juke box chockfull of Black Sabbath, Slayer and a myriad of other heavy metal selections. They could only imagine what lay ahead.

They were not well received. The crowd gathered at the back of the room and acted as if the band wasn't there. It was clear to Brian that the jukebox was the only thing the crowd wanted to hear music coming from. On their last night playing, (only a few weeks later) a very large man in full, biker attire, approached the stage. As Brian is thinking "This is it, he's going to kick our ass," the biker begins to undo his pants! He climbs up on the stage, pants slipping down, his massive body rotating toward the crowd To the band's relief, the creature moons the entire audience, gathers his pants and belt, and returns to his seat.

The club owner told them it wasn't working out, and that they shouldn't return the next week. Rob, the bassist, said that would be fine as long as he pays them for the entire month. Rob read the contract. The owner refused to honor the month's notice required should he choose to terminate the contract. They had to sue. They didn't know how. They learned. They went to the CU law school to find out what to do.

The band took the club owner to small claims court. The judge stated the contract was plain and simple, he should have given them a months notice. The owner cried to the judge about how "disruptive these young kids were," and said that he had to fire them because of this reason. The judge somewhat sided with the defendant. Believing his story the judge awarded the band only half of what they were due.

Brian feels that he, Todd and Rob all think along the same lines. "We usually agree on most everything. When we don't we go with the one who has the strongest conviction about the situation in question." He feels they also apply the term "all for one and one for all," to their band. They approach their music, playing and business dealings this way. They have now been playing together more than a decade. Something has worked for them.

Someone sent an "alias" story about two brothers whom he played in a band with. The band, "Jane Doe," was just signed to a major label for a developmental deal. While in the studio recording, the brother's disagreements elevated to a pretty severe fistfight. They were falling over equipment, breaking things and still wouldn't stop. When it finally did, it was only a few hours before the word came down from the label that they were dropped.

Another story, also sent anonymously told about two girls in a pop band. One, played keyboards, the other sang lead. In the middle of a show, the lead vocalist jokingly called the other girl a silly name. The girl stepped away from the keyboard and punched the other right in the mouth. Needless to say, they don't play together anymore, and one girl now has an assault record with the police.

Obviously, other feelings were stewing long before they erupted into physical confrontations. As with any relationship, band members need to communicate their opinions and feelings immediately, not harbor them for weeks and months. If everything is on the table, so to speak, there are fewer surprises, less misunderstands and no major brawls. If you're in a volatile situation, try and change it or get out. If someone is causing the band to have major difficulties, or you see a "Benedict Arnold," fire him or her. There are hundreds of other talented musicians who are available and easy to get along with. Just make sure they're not one that's been fired by their 10th band.

Good luck, watch your mouth, back and actions, and keep sending those stories in! Peace, it's not such a bad concept, eh?

Please direct your stories to Katoora@hotmail.com.

Katoorah Jayne is a Nashville-cased singer/songwriter who has written and produced five CDs, toured nationally with the band Western Vogue and opened for The Rembrandts, The Bodeans, Joe Walsh, Los Lobos, The Texas Tornadoes, Holly Dunn, Leon Russel and James Cotton, to mention a few. Her music has appeared on several compilation discs alongside Shawn Colvin, Tori Amos, Julian Lennon, Leftover Salmon, Matthew Sweet, The Indigo Girls and others. Check out her web site at http://www.katoorah.com.