A Band That Plays Together Stays Together?

This column is dedicated to those artists, musicians, self-created individuals who are in search of ways to promote, express, convey and carry their self-made works to various listening audiences. All of which may include radio, record and publishing companies as well as live venues, but reach beyond the cinder blocks of a musty-filled single-car garage, grandma's lasagna-painted kitchen, steamy, reverberating showers or tiny bedroom jam sessions.

Q:  How many bands have you been in?
A:  ?

Q:  How many bands have you been fired from?
A:  ?

Q:  How many tantrums have you thrown on stage?
A:  ?

Q:  How many fellow band members have you punched?
A:  ?

Q:  Do you do drugs?
A:  ?

Do these questions sound funny? How many stories have you heard about guitar players walking off of gigs, or drummers coming out from behind the drums to punch the lead singer in the mouth, or the bassist just falling limp on stage from drinking or drugging too much? Every now and then you hear of a well-known band going public with their personnel problems. Remember not too long ago when the Van Halens sat uncomfortably on MTV as they outlined their problems with David Lee Roth, and why the current album they were working on didn't go as planned?

Although there are two sides (at least) to every story, these kinds of problems don't usually turn out as win-win situations. There are egos, feelings and artistic differences that factor into most bad band situations. Recently, a friend from Denver sent me a copy of their local entertainment rag. One of the featured stories was about a local band on a local label on tour in the western United States. There was talk of how the band asked the bassist to go on anti-depressants, and how they all felt as though they walked on eggshells around him. Tantrums were allegedly thrown over simple things such as where to go for lunch.

It was the lead singer's feeling that this bass player was the "best bassist he had ever heard." Perhaps this was the impetus to keep him for more than a year, despite his apparent instability. Evidently, a motor home was damaged while the bass player was at the wheel. The cost for hitting a hotel awning with an air conditioning unit is roughly six hundred dollars--a cost that the bassist felt should be shared with the road manager. Not long after words went flying, the bass player was fired and the cops weren't far behind. I wonder now, in retrospect, if the band would have settled for a little less talented behavior in lieu of some security.

I too have learned the importance of choosing players wisely. I once had a drummer tear down in the middle of a song because he did not like the venue we were playing at! Although one cannot detect a lot about a person with a single conversation, there are questions you can ask that may be telling of potential disaster. Before hiring employees, most companies go through strenuous interviews with perspective workers. They want the best-qualified person for the job. Some companies even have mandatory drug tests along with psychological surveys. Large corporations have individual programs designed specifically for the interviewing, hiring and training of employees. Bands should take advantage of what these companies have learned. Don't just look for the best player. Look for the most reliable, stable player who plays well.

As I set out to write this article, I decided it would be in two parts. The second will include your responses. I would like to hear from you. In the next issue, I will print your worst nightmare-band stories. Along, with a few others, of bands who have stayed together through thick and thin and are still around to talk about it. If you have any great musical-voodoo-guru advice send that along too!

Please direct your stories to Katoorah@hotmail.com.

Katoorah Jayne is a Nashville-cased singer/songwriter who has written and produced 5 CDs, toured nationally with the band Western Vogue, and opened for The Rembrandts, The Bodeans, Joe Walsh, Los Lobos, The Texas Tornadoes, Holly Dunn, Leon Russell and James Cotton, to mention a few. Her music has appeared on several compilation discs alongside Shawn Colvin, Tory Amos, Julian Lennon, Leftover Salmon, Matthew Sweet, The Indigo Girls and others. Check out her web site at http://www.katoorah.com.