Editor's note: Guitar Goddess caused a flowing of the creative juices not only from the Amplifier's staff scribe, Brett Ratner, but also from our head webhead, Phil Davis. Here are their reviews.

have to give Katherine Thomas (A.K.A. The Great Kat) credit for doing everything in her power to reach her market--whatever that market may be. She's got a website (http://www.greatkat.com). She's got a surprisingly information-packed educational CD-Rom called The Great Kat's Digital Beethoven on Cyberspeed and now she has an independently produced and released 4-song CD entitled Guitar Goddess.

The ironic part is that for someone so up to date with technology, she's musically stuck in the '80s, hanging out with that "Yin Yang Maamsteen" dude.

The four-song collection opens up with her interpretation of the Rossini piece "The Barber of Seville." Replete with drums/bass/rhythm guitar orchestration a la early Metallica, Kat fires out the melody on her Gibson Flying V. The tune sounds "fast" until you realize that all the double-picking and "chunka chunka" guitar simply gives an illusion of speed. The song is actually played only slightly faster than the original.

The Kat-penned "Dominatrix" and "Feast of the Dead" are merely cacophonies of speed metal licks with unintelligible shouting on top. The only reprise comes with a very cool tribal groove at the beginning of "Feast." It fakes you out at first, making you wonder if the EP might take a pleasant and unexpected turn until a blood curdling scream ushers in more noise. Bummer.

This reviewer was just about to give up hope until the fourth and final track, Sarasate's "Gypsy Violin Waltz" (German title "Zigeunerrveisen") takes off. The piece features Kat performing a guitar/violin duet with herself (oh yeah, by the way, she's a Julliard graduate and experienced symphony violinist) which is actually kind of cool. Technically speaking, it's on par with everything Malmsteen, Tony Macalpine or Vinnie Moore ever recorded, and it's got a catchy melody. Too bad it's only a 1:13 long.

A strange as it may sound, the final song gives the listener a glimpse at the true talent of this artist. To paraphrase Woody Harrelson in The People Vs. Larry Flint, all Kat's guilty of is bad taste.

I suggest she burn all that lacy heavy metal stuff she wears, start shopping at Talbot's, maybe listen to some blues from time to time, ditch the "Great Kat" schtick and introduce the world to Katherine Thomas. If she put her efforts in the right direction, Thomas could easily make the profound and lasting mark on music she so desperately needs to make.

By Brett Ratner

t's hard to put the music found on Guitar Goddess into mere words. I find it easier to describe the emotional state that you are thrust into when listening to this guitar goddess whip out sounds of pure and unadulterated terror from her seemingly innocent Gibson Flying V. "Listen" isn't exactly the correct terminology either. The feeling is more along the lines of having a meat hook plunged into your back and being dragged through the orchestrated mayhem.

"I was scared the whole time I was listening to it--I was shaking in my boots." --anonymous weak spined co-worker.

Emotional output like this is why the guitar was invented. Four songs lasting 7 minutes and 50 seconds... you couldn't handle any more. It would have taken any other artist almost ten times this amount to burn these same masterpieces. You could say that The Kat's pace is brisk... or you could say it was relentlessly constant and mercilessly packed. The sounds stir your senses and swarm within your brain as the guitar notes rip at your reality.

"[Kat's music is] an aneurism waiting to happen." --a newly inducted Kat Slave.

The Great Kat has taken some of the grand classics of the past and shaped them with a talent unmatched by any other artist. She is truly way ahead of the pack and we are merrily being dragged along behind her. She has a way of warping and compressing the essence behind these classics into a concentrated ball of pure... cyberspeed.

Lets get this lady and Marilyn Manson together.

By Phil Davis