These days, music enthusiasts need to be even more extreme in order to stand out from the crowd. Unfortunately, tattoo removal isn’t cheap and getting caught in the bathroom at school reapplying your guyliner probably isn’t going to help your rep. Here are five trends in music and fashion that will hopefully be out of style by the time you read this column.
Swoop Hair: Swooped hair makes no sense for plenty of reasons, the main one being that it makes it nearly impossible to see—which, you know, is kind of important. Although this look was initially made popular in the indie scene by sensitive crooners like Bright Eyes’ Conor Oberst, it’s now also ubiquitous in the screamo scene where in order to differentiate themselves from the 900 other acts who sound exactly the same, members will tease, dye, and spike their swoop to create a hairstyle that demands attention … even if their music doesn’t.
Deep V-Necks: We know that you love your chest tattoos. Seriously, we get it. That doesn’t mean that it’s okay for you to wear a T-shirt with a neckline that would be illegal in some countries. Combine this with the current trend of all-over-print fluorescent shirts and it not only makes for an eyesore but a headache, too.
Full Sleeves: Speaking of tattoos, we have no problem with them on your chest or otherwise, but we don’t understand the need to rush into a full-sleeve the week of your eighteenth birthday. We recommend starting slowly and not getting your entire arm done in three sittings just so you can look cool for your next gig. However, if you have to get your arm done please get something original and don’t replicate, say, characters from Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas just because members of Good Charlotte and Fall Out Boy have inked their arms that way—because the only thing worse than a bad tattoo is an unoriginal one.
Pop Covers: A Day to Remember’s rendition of Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone” is priceless, but unless you’re in an act called Me First And the Gimme Gimmes, enough already with punk bands covering pop classics. Sure, it was a funny novelty when compilations like Punk Goes Pop came out—but when Punk Goes Crunk came out and younger music listeners started to think that Fall Out Boy wrote Michael Jackson’s “Beat It,” it means the trend has jumped the shark. That said, we kind of like New Found Glory’s cover of Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On.” Just promise not to tell anyone.
Song Titles That Are Really Long Run-On Sentences That Are Totally Unnecessary and Distracting and Too Long: When hardcore band Shai Hulud (which had a compilation album titled A Comprehensive Retrospective: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Release Bad and Useless Recordings ) did it, it was original. And when Panic At The Disco (which has embraced song titles like "The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage") did it, at least it was clever, but many of today’s bands could deal with a visit from the punctuation police. Say Anything's Max Bemis may have titled his latest double-disc opus In Defense Of The Genre, but with unwieldy song titles like “People Like You Are Why People Like Me Exist,” he’s not doing a great job defending anything. Then again, ultimately if grammar is one of our biggest problems with the current musical climate maybe things aren’t so bad. Right?