Virtuous Duck

05.19.2006- CST

"Boy, "Spare us your wrath... we have found one virtuous duck!"
- Heather Flemming
====

I'll explain the story behind that quote in just a minute, but first...

I received a rather vitriolic email yesterday from Miss Brandi indicating in no uncertain terms her EXTREME, VIOLENT DISPLEASURE with my choice of photographs of her in the last blog, in effect saying (and I'm PARAPHRASING here):

"You. Are. Dead."

YIPE!!!

Sometimes we forget just how sensitive the wimminfolk get when it comes to how they like to look in photographs. So in the interest of abject humility and domestic harmony, here is the worst photo of MYSELF that I could find online (as if the one at the end of my last blog wasn't bad enough?)...this is from my "fat period," and my head looks like a big, greasy fire plug. View it & weep:

I think the operative phrase is "gimlet-eyed." I'm also playing a guitar by another manufacturer (it's an OLD photo, okay?), which of course is now a strict no-no in our musical camp. I'm not going to say the brand name, but it rhymes with "carton."

Now contrast this with a VERY FLATTERING PHOTO OF MISS BRANDI D. HART:

I look like Elvis Costello's demented anarchist brother, while Brandi looks INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL. Yes, indeed she does. A dream in high heels. Hopefully this will get me out of the proverbial doghouse...(ducking)...

I promised you ghoulish tales of hair pomade last week, and I suppose you are wondering how this relates to music. Well okay, it doesn't really, but no matter...I'm writing you from the lovely burg of Abingdon, Virginia, where I am currently appearing in the musical play "Man of Constant Sorrow: The Story of the Stanley Brothers" at the majestic Barter State Theatre of Virginia. Me, an actor...imagine that.

I play a couple of minor roles (preacher, radio station manager) but my main task is to appear as one (or two) of The Clinch Mountain Boys, the Stanley's backup band. Here's a good'un of the cast, that's me taking a solo on the F-5 Fern (which has opened up quite nicely since I've been bashing on it two shows a day, every day, for the last several weeks):

That's Ed Snodderly on fiddle, Gill Braswell as Ralph Stanley, BW, Nick Piper as Carter Stanley, and Brandon Story on the doghouse bass. Photo by Cheri DeVoll, courtesy of The Barter Theatre.

And as you can see there's about 3 pints of bacon grease in my hair. I've been using pomade, similar to the stuff ol' George Clooney used in "O Brother Where Art Thou." Its as thick as candle wax & takes about 8 shampoos with industrial dish detergent to get completely out...

"Washes out easily," it says on the jar. HA!!!!

And from the "you can't make this stuff up" department, a friend of mine knows Bowser from Sha-Na-Na, and he said that the best hair slick is, um..."personal lubricant." Can I mention a brand name as long as its not another musical instrument manufacturer? We're all friends here, right?

Yes, I'm talking about K-Y JELLY (to which my father replied, "...and then what, stick your head up your a--??" har-dee-har-har). Well...it IS water soluable, & DOES shampoo out easily, & is a great conversation piece in the dressing room. Furthermore, it's worth it to see the look on the face of the lady at the drug store checkout counter her in the heart of the Bible Belt when I walk up to the register with, like, 6 tubes of the stuff...heh-heh.

MOCS is a great show, and I'm having a ball with it, and all the folks here at the Barter Theatre are great people to work with and for. I get to play and sing classic Stanley Brothers music every day. You can't beat that with a stick! If you are in the neighborhood, i.e. southwest Virginia, please do come by and see the show. We're playing through May 27th, here's a link to the Barter: http://www.bartertheatre.com/season/show
_detail.html?production_id=74

We're also doing two special performances at Ralph Stanley's "Hills of Home" festival on Wednesday, May 24th. We perform the play at 7p.m. and then come back at 10 p.m. to perform a set of Stanley Brothers material that isn't in the play. Miss Brandi (assuming she's forgiven me by then) will be there to sit in with us for a couple numbers as well. Details can be found here on Ralph's site: http://drralphstanley.com/index.shtml

I also handle a good deal of lead guitar in the show...

...In a style known as "crosspicking." Now crosspicking, if you haven't heard of that, is a style of lead guitar that was more or less introduced to bluegrass by the Stanleys in the 1950's and '60's via the great George Shuffler, Bill Napier, and a couple others. You play a steady banjo-like arpeggiation of three strings in a "down-down-up" picking pattern, interspersed with some bass string runs. It works best in medium tempo or slow songs, and is devilishly hard to do at fast clip. Sometime in the next couple weeks, I'll include some tablature of one of my crosspicking solos. It’s a great right hand workout.

It is hard enough to get smooth, steady, and in tempo, let alone having to walk and cross-pick at the same time, as I have to do in a couple scenes. I was thinking at the beginning of the run I might have to get a part-time job as a strolling musician at a Spanish restaurant, so I can get used to walking and playing intricate arpeggios at the same time! Many, many thanks to Mr. Shuffler, as well as James Alan Shelton of Ralph Stanley's band, for playing tips and advice.

Here's me with George Shuffler & Ralph Stanley after our premiere:

George was reaching around Ralph & poking me in the ribs while the photo was being taken...what a card.

The other exciting news is last week we were interviewed live on WCYB-TV channel 5 in Bristol. The Stanley Brothers debuted in 1946 on WCYB radio with their daily show, "Farm and Fun Time," so it was only natural that they came down and shot a live segment at the theatre:

(Oh god, what did he say this time?)

They also included performance & interview clips shot the week before:

Here I am shilling for Gibson, quote, "This is the same model guitar George Shuffler used with the Stanleys, a gorgeous Gibson Southern Jumbo!"

Never let it be said I don't know what side my bread is buttered on!

And lest you think I'm a shameless corporate suck-up, the Southern Jumbo is in fact one of the BEST guitars I've ever used for lead, and it's a dream for crosspicking. The action is nice and low, it has a mahogany back and sides, which makes it punchier in the upper-mids, and the sloped shoulders focus the sound like a laser beam. I'm just in love with this guitar, and despite its relative newness it's turned into a real canon. I use medium strings, .56 - .13 gauge. I'll have more to say on technique and accessories in my next blog.

Hopefully by then I'll also have a link where you can download and watch the entire video segment.

But I promised to explain the quote at the top of the blog in the form of a wildlife report from Abingdon. We have a number of critters here, as you would expect to find in the country. In particular are a pair of Mallard ducks, male and female. They swim in the fountain at the Martha Washington Inn on Main Street, hang out in people's back yards, and today I saw them walking down the sidewalk on Main Street. Like they owned it. Well, recently another male came to town and has been trying to horn in on the other Mallard's action with his lady. However I'm pleased to report she's having none of his feathery advances and staying true to her mate, or as Barter wig mistress and super hip scenester Heather Flemming has proudly announced, "We have found one virtuous duck!"

In Dixie Bee Liners news, our CD is currently at #13 on the Roots Music Report Bluegrass Chart: http://www.rootsmusicreport.com/2.0/
charts.php?name=bluegrass
Last week we were up to #9, the week before #14, and the week before #10. We keep bouncing up and down like a yo-yo in and out of the Top 10 (thanks to recent playlist adds at Clear Channel & Sirius Satellite radio), for the last 12 weeks. I hope some of you reading this get the experience of seeing yourself in the upper reaches of a chart sometime. It's pretty durn cool!

In my next blog, as promised, I'll get into more detail on playing techniques. I'll also have some local wildlife (including the gripping saga of "Aggro Bunny") and backstage pix as soon as I can get to a laptop to download the contents of the digital camera.

Y'all come back, y'hear?

bw