Forgive Me Gibson

11.22.2006- CST

Forgive me Gibson, for I have sinned. It's been EIGHT weeks since my last confession. During that time I have had lust in my heart for hourglass shapes made of wood and wire...I have partaken of unsaturated fats and carbohydrates with a zeal that borders on the obscene...I have shamelessly glommed dozens upon dozens of hotel soaps, shampoos and other personal care products (but left the towels). Other heinous charges include the following:

* Eating spaghetti in public
* Using hard words in a speakeasy
* Spitting in the Gulf Stream
* Failing to pay installments on a straight-jacket
* Possession of a skunk
* Revealing the Facts Of Life to an indian
* Using the alias "Deep Sea McGurk"

Oh, but I have an excuse. I'm full of excuses, in fact.

We moved...I've been on tour...the dog ate my homework...spacemen landed in our backyard and subjected us to mind-numbing sales pitches for encyclopedias. It's been all too much, really, I don't know how my fragile constitution has endured.

YES, YES, I promised to fill you in on the remainder of The Dixie Bee-Liners' July tour. But you don't really want me to belabor the point, do you? I'll just touch on the highlights (or low-lights as the case may be):

DAY THREE
We arise much too early for a 12 noon appearance on WCYB-TV's Noon Show in Bristol, VA to promote that evening's gig. We perform live, after which Danny and Terry audition for new jobs at the station. Should we take this personally?





We stop for a nourishing afternoon snack.



Road food can be rough. Cute little "country kitchen" type family restaurants seem to be mostly extinct now, at least along the interstate. Virtually nothing but fast food and chain restaurants, which can cause some gastric complications that are rather unpleasant in mixed company. If there is no time for a sit-down meal, one can always subsist on the "four food groups" found in your finer gas station mini-marts and truck stops: coffee, chips, jerky, and "dung bags," an ironically affectionate name for those microwave cheese 'n bean burritos. Remember those? Eat one and you'll never forget (neither will the person sitting next to you in the van!).

One tip: avoid the quail eggs boiled in perfume. Trust me.

Off to our next stop, at radio station WETS-FM in Johnson City, TN, home of "Roots & Branches," a wonderful 3 and 1/2 hour show that features bluegrass and roots music. We play three songs live in the studio, plus some amusing banter with the host Wayne Winkler. The reason all our eyes are closed is that we are DEAD KNACKERED:



We play that evening at the Downhome Pickin' Parlor (GREAT club) in Johnson City, after which we adjourned for a late night meal/birthday celebration with wig mistress and cool youth deacon Heather Fleming. From there we retreat to the local Ramada for a couple hours of shuteye.

DAY FOUR:
Up early for a 4 hour drive to Knoxville, where we play an afternoon concert on WDVX-FM's "Blue Plate Special":



We're hoping next time we show up our photo will be on one of those plates on the wall...and we won't find that someone has eaten runny scrambled eggs off of it!

That evening we play a long set at Patrick Sullivans, where we were honored by a visit from local luminary Mr. Bill McBee from the band Pine Mountain Railroad (who have a lovely new CD out...check 'em out here: http://www.pinemountainrailroad.com/)



Many thanks to WDVX dj Charlie Lutz and his wife Kris for letting us nap at their house in between shows!

DAY FIVE:
Are you bored yet? Same old story...up early, drive to Decatur, GA, play an absolutely wonderful show at Eddie's Attic:



Danny's wife, Mary Olive Smith, sits in...



...we sell a bunch of CD's (minus the four stolen by unknown rat fink audience members), and it's off to a well-earned rest...well, almost!

DAY SIX:

YES, we're up early once again the next morning for a final live performance on WRFG-FM, after which my father, up from Florida, buys us a breakfast of REAL FOOD. HALLELUJAH!!

Danny leaves us to drive back without him and flies home. Should we take this personally? While stopping for gas we see the most awesome moth on the curb:



Disturbingly, this photo is LIFE SIZE.

Tour diary officially ended, *whew!* We got home just in time to start packing for our move to Virginia. No rest for the wicked...*whew!*

What's next for our blog? Here are some highlights:

* More TV appearances
* New pickers
* Drunk promoters in Michigan
* Sneaky Haircuts
* The Crooked Road
* Recording sessions
* Touring once again with "Man of Constant Sorrow"
* Meeting Garrison Keillor
* Weird neighbors who spy on us
* The proper way to wind strings
* How to make your own custom station ID's for radio
* Miles of green masking tape
* One virtuous duck

Speaking of hourglass shapes, I leave you with this adorable photo of our friend Jill Anderson, shamelessly fondling a lovely vintage Gibson L-4:



Until next time, keep the porch light on for us or we're likely to fall off the walk-way and you'll find us the next morning fast asleep in the bushes, covered in snail tracks.

Toodles,

bw