Given the nimbleness Keith Richards has displayed over the years—from falling down onstage, cigarette intact to falling out of that coconut tree—we’re not altogether surprised to hear that he’s finally being honored with a ballet. Danish-born international ballet star and choreographer Peter Schaufuss has put together Satisfaction, a program in which a gaggle of women boasting pretty much the same curviness as Mick Jagger cavort to the strains of “Paint It, Black,” “Angie,” and “Sympathy for the Devil.” Sadly, we doubt Schaufuss has given good ol’ Bill Wyman the spotlight time he deserves—we guess ballet-philes just wouldn’t respond to two hours of people standing still onstage. --David Sprague